Baby Wisdom
What babies can teach us.
Each newborn infant has their own unique cues and behaviour to enable them to interact with their world. When we recognise these subtle cues there is so much we can learn, not only in communicating with a newborn, but also how we might engage with one another throughout child and adulthood.
A newborn infant’s responses do not suddenly appear when they are born. Each little one has been developing their own uniqueness from the moment of conception.
A conscious being interacting and responding to their internal and external environment.
Their brain wiring, firing and developing according to their experiences and how they perceive themselves within this. A process that continues throughout life.
Decades of nursing experience working with newborn babies has given me an insight into the many behaviours babies use to have their needs met and to show both their strengths and where they need support for their optimal growth and development.
The parent and caregiver who recognizes the infant’s signals and responds appropriately with loving reciprocal care lays a foundation for the infant’s ability to thrive and cultivate more trusting relationships with others over their life.
Think of an infant’s cues as a traffic light system of social engagement.
Green light, it’s all good and I am ready and willing to engage.
Amber light, hhhmmm give me a moment, I’m not sure if I am ready or if it is safe.
Red light, I need something now or I am definitely not feeling ready or safe.
How might these traffic light behaviours guide and teach you about awareness in your own life and as you interact with others.
Consider how you would support a young baby when they give you an amber light, a change in their breathing, subtle changes in skin tone and colour, eyes that look away. Would you wait, talk softly, gently, reassure and respect their uncertainty?
What about a red light from someone you are interacting with? How does an infant show a red light signal? Some will cry, another may go quiet and shut down.
Premature babies demonstrate a strong signal by bringing their hands in front of their face or chest with their palms outward, a signal that definitely informs others to back off, wait or adopt comforting responses.
A baby tends to calm when their mother (or caregiver) speaks to them with a soft voice and uses gentle soothing actions such as swaddling, swaying, singing, a slow soft ‘shshsh’ sound and sucking opportunity. All are caring reassuring signals to the vagus nerve that all is well.
Babies learn about their world from their mother’s (or primary caregiver’s) face. A mother’s gaze has been shown to be critical in how we learn empathy. Many a parent has witnessed their little one mirror their facial expressions.
An important aspect to consider when many are engaged in constant cell phone distraction is that a baby does not see themselves as separate from their mother and will continually look to her for reassurance to know if they are safe.
When we demonstrate loving, gentle, reciprocal care we create the potential for attachment and bonding that has lifelong implications in the health and welfare of the infant and their family.
It lays the foundation for each infant and parent to feel safe, secure and nurtured within the mother / father infant bond.
Gaylene Hansen
This article is published in ‘The Inspired Guide’ August 2020
